CryingBehindMySunGlasses

Welcome the Chaos! 

While it all seems like a blur there are parts that feel as if they happened just seconds ago.  It was exactly 3 months since the shock of “IT’S TWINS,” shook us and little did we know was just the beginning of a wild and crazy ride we’d soon be on. At 24 weeks it all began with a doctor being concerned about the way things were looking for both babies.  After so many ultrasounds you could tell when things weren’t okay. 

Sunday, August 11th, 2013 the doctor strolled in to do his daily ultrasound to decide if we would deliver that day or stay the course of hanging out.  He came in that morning wearing his golf attire,  ready for his tee time and casually sat at the side of my bed and began the ultrasound.  When he asked if my husband would be coming to the hospital I knew something wasn’t right.  Joe walked in not seconds later the doctor said, “it’s time, we cannot help them anymore with them still in the womb, we need to deliver now.” 

Then BAM! Nurses flying everywhere, some ungodly medicine given to me that is known to help stop contractions…but who would have thought it also is given in a large dose very quickly before a mom delivers because it also can help protect the babies brains from damage (another detail to keep in mind for later reads).  Almost an hour and a half after the doctor said it was go time, a whirlwind of emotions, being whisked to the operation room for an emergency c-section, the anesthesiologist wiping my tears on the table with Joe plastered to my cheek and nurses telling him, “DO NOT MOVE, you will be in the way!!!”  TWO POUND miracle babies were born at 9:28am and 9:29am.  Nicholas weighing 2.1 pounds and JoJo weighing 2.8 pounds, both 13 inches long. 

Absolutely nothing prepares you for that first look of your baby when they are born at 26 weeks.   Nicholas was brought to me with a breathing tube already in his mouth and when I kissed his warm, soft little cheek among all of the emotions I felt I just remember thinking, that’s not what my babies are supposed to look like, queue hysterical crying.  I didn’t get to see JoJo, he was too sick and the team of doctors and nurses were working on him to stabilize him and by team…I mean 17 people and then some in the operating room! Holy crap!  

One of the hardest things to hear is that one of your children may not survive and that’s exactly what they told us about JoJo the night the boys were born.  They both are true miracles to be here today, JoJo giving us a crazy run first, while Nick waited a few weeks to give us hell once JoJo tagged out which seems to still be the case nine and a half years later. 

I don’t remember feeling the crazy at the time but when I take a moment to look back, it still shakes me to think of all we’ve been through.  All at the same time making me realize just how sweet life is and now in our crazy chapter we are in, I welcome the chaos…life could be have been so different.

• The tears you don’t see